灵气
隔壁品牌部新来了一个姑娘，叫苓子。她的领导对她的评价是，写的东西很有灵气。“很有灵气”这四个字，不免叫我想起七八年前的自己。
作为一个设计专业的毕业生，我的第一份工作是靠文字赢得的。犹记得复试时她们读我写给那些旗袍的词句时的表情。讶异，惊艳。然后写了一封给新加坡设计师的信，一众读者无不如痴如醉，激情澎湃。再后来，就是《中国服饰报》的资深记者采访老板之后，写不出满意的稿子。在他即将放弃的时候，我在他原稿的基础上改了一篇，很快发表出来。
那时的自己，肯定是很有灵气的。从不同的人那里听到那时的人们看见我的第一印象。“不食人间烟火”，“仙女一般”，“此女只应天上有”。即使我疏于打扮，但那些简简单单的连衣裙，足够衬出清新脱俗的气质了。后来，后来……等到我幡然醒悟的时候，发现自己已经俨然寻常妇人，惯于满身油烟，偶尔粗陋鄙俗。昨天小稳对我说，搞艺术的往往喜欢去作小三，为什么呢？因为搞艺术赚不了什么钱，但要浸淫在艺术的调调里没有钱是不行的。所以只好去给有钱人当小三。这些年，我那双搞艺术的手，在柴米油盐中渐失饱满光泽。寻常的男人，恋爱时不管多爱下凡的仙子，关系稳定后也会更希望是个朴实的村妇来悉心照顾自己。艺术，始终抵不过生存的挤压。
最近喜欢看地铁站派送的报纸上，一个叫谢春彦的人写的专栏。略有些文人的酸气，恰是我喜欢的腔调。每每在公交车上琢磨他的遣词造句，会恍惚记起自己以前写的小文也是那样耐人咀嚼；那些多年未见的辞藻，当时也曾信手拈来。如今，在拥有一双主妇手之后，突然无比钦羡他人的诗意。即使生活真的平淡无味，拥有一个善感诗意的灵魂，也会像添了盐巴一样，顿时活色生香。
那个苓子，远不及我当初朴实清雅，也不知写的文字到底多有灵气。文人相轻，我其实没什么可轻别人的资本了。唯有她们的年轻和空白，令我怅然。
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